So, it’s been six weeks since our world turned upside down for all the right reasons! Kingston rules our house these days and he has our hearts wrapped around his tiny winy pinky.
What in the world can prepare you for the job of mom…NOTHING!
I never imagined I could take so many pictures in one day and be compelled to share them with everyone I know, especially complete strangers. Many days I’m overwhelmed with exhaustion but I’m overcome with gratitude when I look at his big eyes at 3:45am. I’m a planner who always wants to be prepared. Yet, this job can only be learned through on-the-job training. The perfectionist in me is embracing the imperfect. In fact, right now as I write there is a stack of laundry, a bib, diaper bag and a breast pump are all around me!
Motherhood continues to be a revealing experience. After being at home for weeks on end with my precious loved one, I longed to simply get out of the house. Driving became something I couldn’t wait to do. When I finally got a few moments away, all I wanted to do was get back home to him.
As President of my firm, there is a struggle between the real and your own version of ideal balance between your personal and professional life. I had a version of ideal for my maternity leave. I would walk away from work cold and somehow empty my brain and magically never think of work again until my return.
Here is the real. Our son was born two weeks early. There were things undone at work. Yet, I realized that I could complete what needed to be done but I would have to find a way to finish my obligations without cheating us of precious moments together. As the designer of my own perfect day, I can have both and every day I make it work.
I’m eager to get my body back but I realize that this too will be a process. Thank God for breast feeding because it has helped me tremendously loose my round belly (which I actually miss). When I look in the mirror I don’t look the same, today. I couldn’t work out much during my last trimester so I have lost muscle tone and I feel the weakest I’ve ever been. Yet, I realize just like everything else I have achieved, it takes perseverance, consistency and faith to believe it is possible. Rather than become overwhelmed with the thought of losing baby weight, I’ve decided to become energized by the opportunity to see myself transform again and become a healthier more vibrant and sexy version of me in order to have the energy to keep up and look good doing it.
My hubby and I agreed that date night was mandatory, especially now. Our date nights in the past were concerts, dinners, movies, theatre, vacation trips…you name it. However, now, our date night would be dinner, watching a movie while having our little guy lay on our lap. You gotta learn to improvise. We recently traveled to Baltimore with our little man…his first road trip!
During this time, I’m hearing clearer. Through being still and prayer, I realized that I don’t have to be frustrated, overwhelmed and feeling ill equipped for my new job description. God was giving me permission to reinvent schedule, my priorities and align myself with a greater value and greater level of success. I’m energized by this vision. I realize that my priorities have shifted but I’m blessed to work my passion and to see the fruit of my labor expand. The more I invest in spending time with God, He shows me new and surprising opportunity that I couldn’t see before because I was busy and doing things my way.
The lessons keep coming and I’m sure they will go on for a lifetime. I’m grateful to be the student again, learning from this first month of motherhood and taking notes each and every day.